learning part 1

Before my senior year started, I asked God to teach me about love. That's what I wanted to learn about this year... and I've always heard people say "don't ask for patience, because then God will test your patience..." then after that they always do that laugh thing. that isn't the point tho... I really didn't think about how God would teach me more about love. I just prayed that He would teach me and waited for Him to do so.

This has been a rough year. Everything is changing. It's weird. My friends have changed, my parents have changed out they treat me, my schedule and activities have changed, I have changed.. through all of this changing I've discovered a lot about love.

It used to be so easy to love my friends, but to be completely honest, it hasn't been as easy this year. Not that I don't love them but I'm talking about the kind of love that God offers to us. I know we're humans and can't achieve love like that, but isn't that what we're striving for as christians? When my friends change and I don't like the change, it's not loving them to get mad about it and think they're not who they were before. Love is much bigger than getting mad about friends changing. They're growing and maturing. That's not something to get upset about.. Especially when I'm doing the same thing.

I really think love and forgiveness go hand in hand. I don't know if I believe you can love someone if you're unwilling to forgive them. If you can't give up whatever grudge you're holding and make the choice to forgive them and move on, how is that love? Love is risky at times. It can feel like a major risk to forgive someone who has hurt you. after all, won't they just do it again? But what do we do to God? How much does is hurt God when I sin over and over again. When I deliberately do something that puts a wall between God and I, and then come crawling back to Him telling Him how much I love Him and how sorry I am, how much worse does that feel than how I feel when someone does something that hurts my feelings a little?

I have so much more to say about the things God has shown me about love. I just don't have time tonight. Things I've learned from my parents, my grandparents, my boyfriend, my squad, my teachers... God uses so many different things. It's weird that usually at the time I don't realize God is teaching me.

I still don't know how to end a blog. (or if anyone reads this)

inspired by anna

dear anna,
you may be the only person who reads this (if you even read it) so thanks. I love reading your blog so I got my own. you inspired me =)
love,
valerie


it's only appropriate to say Happy Thanksgiving! I love holidays. I used to love holidays for the food and presents and don't get me wrong, i still love those things... but now i love holidays because my siblings come home. I feel more complete when they're home. Part of me goes away to college with them.

We did a cheesy Thanksgiving thing today. Mary Ellen brought a stuffed turkey and we passed it around (threw it around) and said what we were the most thankful for. because of this i found out why i can't catch.. no one in my family can catch. almost everyone got smacked in head. anyway...it really made me think. so much has happened in my life lately. my life was so different this time last year. God has taught me so many things and i can't help but be thankful for the trials i've gone through because i don't want to be the girl i was this time last year. without those trials, i wouldn't have grown. this time next year, i hope i'm different than i am now. i hope i know more about who God is, more about what love really is, more about my family and my friends. i hope i can look back and thank God for the pain and struggles because of how it's changed me and i hope that this year while i'm going through those struggles i can focus on what God is doing instead of the pain.

i'm not sure how to end a blog.