I haven't blogged all summer. I haven't written in my journal all summer. It's very unlike me to not want to write in my journal. I think the last year brought me to a point where I couldn't sit and think about my life. I couldn't analyze what was happening or what God was doing anymore. I needed a break. The last year made me feel like I was in a glob of mud up to my legs. I could still move but it was very difficult. That's a lovely analogy... I didn't want to rehash the feelings I had throughout the day. I guess I still don't really feel like blogging but I want to feel like blogging so here I am. Luckily, I don't feel like I'm in the mud anymore. So hopefully I'll get back into writing/blogging.
This summer has been very different than any other time in my life. The people I can't live without (excluding my family) are totally different. The way I spend my time is completely different. The things that are important to me are completely different. And this is only the beginning. It's so bizarre to look back on how much I changed in high school. Wow. I kind of went from a brain washed, rule following, how will I ever be good enough christian to whatever I am now. It makes me sick to think that I tried to contain God in a list of rules. I am disgusted by my former self. I was so caught up in being good enough. I didn't think for myself. I followed a boy. yuck. Who was I?? I don't even recognize that person anymore. Four years from now, I hope to be disgusted by who I am now. I hope I follow God and learn more about who He is and how to love people how He would love them and how to live like He lived. I hope I grow enough to look back and laugh about how silly I am now.
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Favorite Quotes
There's only now, there's only here. Give into love, or live in fear. No other path, no other way. No day but today. -No Day but Today (Rent)
Faith is what keeps you going when the road is dark and you cannot see the way. It's what you lean on when all of your plans are coming unraveled and you heart is ready to burst. Hope is what helps you survive when you are burying your dead dreams and seemingly have nothing left. Love, though, is greater than both faith and hope because it lets you know that no matter how rough life gets, you are not alone. -Shannon Kubiak Primicerio
The thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free. Whether good or bad, at least they're out in the open. And once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore. The problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control, you're not. - Meredith Grey
For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.
1 John 3:20
It's a place that requires a constant choice. We can choose to cling to starring roles in the little-bitty stories of us, or we can exchange our fleeting moment in the spotlight for a supporting role in the eternally beautiful epic that is the Story of God.Think of it as trading up. Abandoning the former and embracing the latter will allow our little lives to be filled with the wonder of God as we live for His fame and the unending applause of His name. And joining our small stories to His will give us what we all want most in life anyway: the assurance that our brief moments on earth count for something in a story that never ends.
-Louie Giglio "I am not, but I know I Am"
"When we insist that God should give us an answer to a prayer, we're off track. The purpose of prayer is that get ahold of God, not the answer."
-Oswald Chambers
"True self is the part of us that does not change when circumstances do."
-- M. Cooley
Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all. -Princess Diaries
Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. -Meredith Grey
At the end of the day when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all pretend to keep our distance is usually a load of bull, so we pick and choose who we want to remain close to and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stay close by no matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping and sometimes close can be too close, but sometimes that invasion of personal space can be exactly what we need. -Meredith Grey
If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.
-C.S. Lewis
Faith is what keeps you going when the road is dark and you cannot see the way. It's what you lean on when all of your plans are coming unraveled and you heart is ready to burst. Hope is what helps you survive when you are burying your dead dreams and seemingly have nothing left. Love, though, is greater than both faith and hope because it lets you know that no matter how rough life gets, you are not alone. -Shannon Kubiak Primicerio
The thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free. Whether good or bad, at least they're out in the open. And once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore. The problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control, you're not. - Meredith Grey
For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.
1 John 3:20
It's a place that requires a constant choice. We can choose to cling to starring roles in the little-bitty stories of us, or we can exchange our fleeting moment in the spotlight for a supporting role in the eternally beautiful epic that is the Story of God.Think of it as trading up. Abandoning the former and embracing the latter will allow our little lives to be filled with the wonder of God as we live for His fame and the unending applause of His name. And joining our small stories to His will give us what we all want most in life anyway: the assurance that our brief moments on earth count for something in a story that never ends.
-Louie Giglio "I am not, but I know I Am"
"When we insist that God should give us an answer to a prayer, we're off track. The purpose of prayer is that get ahold of God, not the answer."
-Oswald Chambers
"True self is the part of us that does not change when circumstances do."
-- M. Cooley
Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all. -Princess Diaries
Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. -Meredith Grey
At the end of the day when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all pretend to keep our distance is usually a load of bull, so we pick and choose who we want to remain close to and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stay close by no matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping and sometimes close can be too close, but sometimes that invasion of personal space can be exactly what we need. -Meredith Grey
If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.
-C.S. Lewis
1 comment:
I love you! You are an amazing young woman! I am so eager to see how you change and grow as you go through your college years.
I remember the days when God was a set of rules. It makes me sick also. All those missed opportunities to love some one and serve some without making them follow the rules also.
It's nice just to be and just to love because Jesus loves me.
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