Friday, August 8, 2008

fan the flame, make my spirit whole








Today I cleaned off my bookshelf today and decided what to take with me to Wheaton. I came across a book I was given right after my freshman year.  It made me so angry. That was a time in my life when I was trying to collect all the pieces. I was trying to get everything together so I could live again. I was free and I was trying to find myself. And then he goes and gives me this lovely little book that made me just as mad at the time as it does now. For some reason, I've held on to it for over three years but today is different. Today I wanted to launch it off the nearest cliff. I am beyond done with that stage. I am so far some that time. I do not need that nauseating reminder sitting in my room. So I decided to burn it. And even though it may seem silly to some, it released me. I finally let MYSELF off the hook for that part of who I used to be. He won't know or care that I destroyed this little momento and probably won't ever know how I've changed or who I am now, but I don't care because this was for me. I'm not hiding anymore. I show the world who I am every day. I am not who you want me to be anymore. I am who I was made to be.

1 comment:

White Horse said...

May God bless you and keep you; may he cause his face to shine upon you and give you peace.

Your blog has helped me today.

I hope you know Jesus Christ and the hope he gives to all mankind through his loving sacrifice to all mankind, that by believing in him (all he proclaims), you might have abundant life in his loving presence forever.

If not, I encourage you to seek him out. You will find him. He is beautiful and kind. Merciful to all who seek him to forgive them of their sins.

I thank God for you.