414.46 miles

This is where you'll find me

It's amazing to see what God does in a year. I got my acceptance letter to Wheaton Friday and it was one of the best days of my life. (even tho we're still waiting for more news from them) Exactly a year before I got my letter, we found out Meredith had HCM. It was one of the worst days of my life. This time last year my family and I were struggling with many different issues. God was teaching all of us and growing was difficult. God is still teaching us, but it's incredible how He's brought us out of sorrow and into a more joyful time. I am so thankful for the blessings I'm experiencing in my life right now.

this may be my last post for 2007. I'd like to wish everyone a happy and blessed new year! A lot of changes are happening in my life in the coming year and I can't wait to see where God takes me.

scattered

blogs are not made for online fighting. that's myspace.

i was thinking while i was driving tonight, and i couldn't think of a single person who has been what i would consider "100% loyal" to me that isn't in my family. i kept thinking because that seemed crazy to me and i've come to the conclusion that everyone makes mistakes (myself included...obviously) it may seem like we weren't being loyal or sticking by someone, but maybe that isn't the case... and i've decided a lot of people have been loyal to me because i don't think true loyalty lies in never making a mistake, never taking someone else's side, or never being away from someone. i think true loyalty lies in coming back. it lies in in admitting the mistake, and in trying to make up for it.

i had a great christmas this year. i enjoy being around the people i love so much. it's so relaxing to spend time with them. i hope everyone else had a wonderful holiday!

i have to cut myself off at this point because i don't feel like going on a tangent about anything else.

12

http://www.ksbj.org/eblogs/morningShow/

Thank you lysosomes

today in anatomy, mr. roar taught us about lysosomes.

when embryos are forming, they apparently start as "a mass." Lysosomes cause "cell death" to certain cells. I'm sure that's a very complicated process and I really don't know anything about it. I'm completely intrigued by it tho... anyway, certain cells are basically killed off. they have to die in order to form a hand or a face or whatever body part it's going for... so that's one spiritual connection i was making. once again, there must be death for life to come through. this seems to run throughout so many different topics. (seeds/flowers, Jesus. lysosomes, personal lives, feel free to add more examples) God isn't letting us forget how important this is. If Jesus wouldn't have died or wouldn't have risen from the dead, we wouldn't be able to get so close to God. We wouldn't have the opportunity to really get to know Him, and lysosomes. of all things, can remind us of this.

The other thing I kept thinking about was kind of this... "Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb."- psalm 139:13 (MSG) Mr. Roar kept saying the lysosomes "sculpt" the mass. I got such a cool visual connection of God sculpting us. He chips away the parts of us that must die in order for us to life the best life. Sure, we may be able to life as a giant mass (maybe not) but what kind of life would that be? I'm so thankful he formed me just how he wanted me... that He used those little tiny lysosomes to mold me, even tho some of my original cells had to die, and I'm glad He continues to get rid of the parts of me that need to die... I know this is a strange connection, but God really spoke to me in anatomy class today. Yes, I know I'm a science nerd but I'm ok with that... God can been seen in anything, especially science.

Happy Sabbath

I am in a very reflective mood. I have tons of different thoughts going through my head, so forgive me if this doesn't make any sense...

One of my favorite parts of my chrysalis flight was that I didn't have to worry about time or what I would be doing. Everything was planned for me. I could focus on God without any interruptions. That was incredibly refreshing to me. Just thinking back to my flight relaxes me, makes me happier, and reminds me of God's love. I'm so thankful for those 3 days. As my dad and I were eating lunch today, I was trying to convince him to go to Emmaus. I was telling him why I loved my flight so much, and I told him those things. He, of course, had a suggestion I had never even considered. What would it be like to have a time like that in my life more frequently? How would it change my life to spend a solid hour just twice a week and to commit to not worrying or thinking about other things. To spend an hour searching out God. hm... interesting. That idea sounds amazing to me. I have such a busy schedule, but this is something I'm going to start to try to incorporate into my life. I probably won't start with an hour, but that's not the point anyway.

Today I'm excited about the fact that I serve a God I can get to know. I can be close to Him. I have a friendship with God. Everyday I have the opportunity to learn new things about Him. I wish I could say I do that everyday. I wish I could say that I focus on God a lot throughout my day. The truth is, I get caught up in school or activities or my friends or homework and instead of getting to know Him through all of these things, I try to get to know Him in scheduled time between these things. That's so stupid. I've been trying to work on that lately, but I'm learning it's a process that requires time.

It seems like our generation is trying to get away from all of the negative perceptions that have developed about Christianity over the years. That in itself is a great thing, but as we're moving as far away from those problems as we can, we're running into a whole new set of problems. We have somehow developed the idea that loving someone and not judging them means letting them continue in sin even if it's hurting them or someone else spiritually, emotionally, and physically. But is that love? We have somehow started believing that if we put too much emphasis on God's commandments, we're automatically legalistic. But Jesus said if we love Him we'll follow His commandments. We have started believing that we need to dress up Jesus to look fun and shiny to the world in order to bring people to know Him. But God is the One who draws people to Him. I think a lot of these things have been caused by the fact that we're trying to avoid being the stereotypical judgmental, rule keepings, uptight Christians. Like I said before, there's nothing wrong with that in theory, but we have to address these new problems, too. The question is, how do we go about that? Where is the middle ground?

learning part 1

Before my senior year started, I asked God to teach me about love. That's what I wanted to learn about this year... and I've always heard people say "don't ask for patience, because then God will test your patience..." then after that they always do that laugh thing. that isn't the point tho... I really didn't think about how God would teach me more about love. I just prayed that He would teach me and waited for Him to do so.

This has been a rough year. Everything is changing. It's weird. My friends have changed, my parents have changed out they treat me, my schedule and activities have changed, I have changed.. through all of this changing I've discovered a lot about love.

It used to be so easy to love my friends, but to be completely honest, it hasn't been as easy this year. Not that I don't love them but I'm talking about the kind of love that God offers to us. I know we're humans and can't achieve love like that, but isn't that what we're striving for as christians? When my friends change and I don't like the change, it's not loving them to get mad about it and think they're not who they were before. Love is much bigger than getting mad about friends changing. They're growing and maturing. That's not something to get upset about.. Especially when I'm doing the same thing.

I really think love and forgiveness go hand in hand. I don't know if I believe you can love someone if you're unwilling to forgive them. If you can't give up whatever grudge you're holding and make the choice to forgive them and move on, how is that love? Love is risky at times. It can feel like a major risk to forgive someone who has hurt you. after all, won't they just do it again? But what do we do to God? How much does is hurt God when I sin over and over again. When I deliberately do something that puts a wall between God and I, and then come crawling back to Him telling Him how much I love Him and how sorry I am, how much worse does that feel than how I feel when someone does something that hurts my feelings a little?

I have so much more to say about the things God has shown me about love. I just don't have time tonight. Things I've learned from my parents, my grandparents, my boyfriend, my squad, my teachers... God uses so many different things. It's weird that usually at the time I don't realize God is teaching me.

I still don't know how to end a blog. (or if anyone reads this)

inspired by anna

dear anna,
you may be the only person who reads this (if you even read it) so thanks. I love reading your blog so I got my own. you inspired me =)
love,
valerie


it's only appropriate to say Happy Thanksgiving! I love holidays. I used to love holidays for the food and presents and don't get me wrong, i still love those things... but now i love holidays because my siblings come home. I feel more complete when they're home. Part of me goes away to college with them.

We did a cheesy Thanksgiving thing today. Mary Ellen brought a stuffed turkey and we passed it around (threw it around) and said what we were the most thankful for. because of this i found out why i can't catch.. no one in my family can catch. almost everyone got smacked in head. anyway...it really made me think. so much has happened in my life lately. my life was so different this time last year. God has taught me so many things and i can't help but be thankful for the trials i've gone through because i don't want to be the girl i was this time last year. without those trials, i wouldn't have grown. this time next year, i hope i'm different than i am now. i hope i know more about who God is, more about what love really is, more about my family and my friends. i hope i can look back and thank God for the pain and struggles because of how it's changed me and i hope that this year while i'm going through those struggles i can focus on what God is doing instead of the pain.

i'm not sure how to end a blog.